Sry I called you an 8
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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