How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He? As in you personified your dick?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize