How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
