so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
