which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize