So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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