why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
