Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
