im gay
i know
yea but for you.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm like, not good at living.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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