ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
