Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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