Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
