do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
