remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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