Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
