Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
