i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
