you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize