He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
