I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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