I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
