but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
there is puke in my bra ... again
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
