why didn't you poke me back
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
