Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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