I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
