it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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