Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
