Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Dick very happy bro
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
