YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
