Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
