I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
