I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
