yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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