i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
