Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
