Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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