she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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