So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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