He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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