hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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