It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
jump out the window naked night went bad
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
