if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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