I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
