You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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