People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
