I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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