Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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