Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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