i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
