but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
