when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
no, he came in my armpit
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
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