all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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