If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
