I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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