Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
