i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
