I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize