He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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