i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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