He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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