I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
