Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
look no pants
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My cat gives me a boner
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
