We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
