i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
