uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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