You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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