i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
True strength comes from lack of pants
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
