it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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