I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
